Its good to have friends, they can be very important to us.

Sometimes we have best friends who we are really close to and share our secret thoughts and feelings with. We can also enjoy the company of other friends as part of a group.

Sometimes its easier to have just a few good friends and enjoy their company rather than trying to be good friends with everyone or having just one best friend.

A friend is someone who:

• you enjoy being around and enjoys being around you.
• shares similar interests as you and you can have fun with
• you can talk and listen to
• you trust and who feels good being with
• you know will stick up for you and doesnt say mean things
• knows if youre feeling happy or sad and can support you

You can tell good friends by the way they act and not just by what they say.


How to make friends

Let people know that you want to be friends. Usually if you are friendly, others will be friendly back.

• smile, greet people by name and speak in a friendly way, like hi, or hey, hows it going?
• you could ask whats your name? or wheres the library?
• respond to others greetings or questions, like Im new too or come with me, Ill show you
• invite others to join in a game. You could say, wanna play catch?, or you can be in our team
• be a good listener be interested in what others have to say
• accept others ideas (its important not to do things your way all the time)
• show support you could say, you look sad do you want me to sit with you for a while?
• dont be a show off
• take turns, agree to share things, and work together
• give honest compliments tell others what you like about them or what they do, wow, that was a good shot, or I like the colours in your painting

Helping your friends

Remember, a friend notices when others are feeling unhappy.

Ask them if they are OK, they may want to talk about it, or they may not. You can just be there for them.

Talking things through with a friend can be really helpful, problems dont seem quite so big when they are shared. You may also be able work out a solution together.

Friendships do break up

It can feel terrible when you fall out with a friend, you miss their company when suddenly they are no longer there.

Its common, from time to time for friends to disagree about things and this is a normal part of growing up. Usually friends make up soon after, it just needs one to say sorry or ask to make up again. Perhaps you can be the one to make the first move.

If you need help, phone Kidsline and a Buddy will help you work out what to do.

Our service is anonymous and confidential. That means we don't know who you are, unless you choose to tell us and we dont tell anyone what you've said, except in exceptional circumstances where you ask us to.

Kidsline thanks and acknowledges Specialist Education Service (SES), which is now special education within the Ministry of Education, for their contributed material used to produce these help sheets. Crown copyright 1998.